This week’s question is from Lisa: “My boyfriend has had a GREAT deal on his plate the last 6 weeks (give or take) and most of the issues he faces are with his teen-aged son. The issues his son faces are things that I cannot “help” with – they are things they must handle - and in this process my boyfriend has seemingly forgotten about “us”. He doesn’t communicate with me like he once did – although he says we are still a couple – we haven’t had much time together – do you see things calming down and my relationship getting back “on-track” in the near future? Any insight you can provide would be greatly appreciated!”
Cards Drawn: 9 Wands – Reversed 4 of Swords – Reversed Ace of Cups
While it’s not much fun for a relationship to be this “quiet” or seemingly non-productive, your boyfriend has a HUGE amount on his plate right now. And these issues he must deal with can definitely interfere in the relationship you and he have together. However, if you make too much of a complaint to him about it, he’s likely to become defensive about things – as shown in the Nine of Wands.
You may very well continue to feel “stuck” for awhile with this relationship and the lack of growth and productivity – even to the point of having to decide if you can wait this out for better times to come. Unfortunately, I’m not seeing a near-future improvement. The Reversed 4 of Swords can indicate more movement in the situation, but with the 9 of Wands here, too, you want to make sure that you aren’t moving into what feels like a “battlefield” instead of moving back toward that loving feeling that has gone astray in the midst of your boyfriend’s family problems. Sadly, this relationship is currently “running on empty.” Love is getting buried beneath the problems.
The Reversed Ace of Cups indicates that this emotional imbalance will not get fixed soon enough for you. But this is all not easy for your boyfriend either. The situation is making you feel excluded, unloved, and forgotten. And getting back to “us” as you hope for won’t be any quick fix. There is a need for a lot of patience to sort out your feelings before making any definite decisions, however. Avoid saying or doing something you will later regret. Remember, he’s not ignoring you on purpose, but right now, he’s like a soldier who is trying to hold himself and his son together. None of this was a problem when you first met, but he’s facing a significant life crisis right now. I don’t think he wants to also “go to war” with you as he is having to do with the problems at hand . . . but only you can decide if you can wait on him to get things worked out in his personal life . . . or not. It’s not likely to get settled soon with the Reversed Ace of Cups appearing. Unfortunately, the problems he’s facing may continue to impact the relationship between the two of you.
I don’t see an end in sight yet for this, but eventually even challenges do come to end – one way or the other. This is naturally hard for you to be in a relationship and not even feel like you have one at all. If he was purposefully avoiding you, it would be one thing . . . but I don’t feel he is trying to hurt you. He’s defending his family situation as best he can. And until that is settled, he is not likely to be as emotionally available for you as you need him to be.
Best Wishes and Many Blessings!
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